True Crimes Against Wine

CASE 0413: Wine and the Wee Wifey

TRIGGER WARNING: SA, please take care of your mental health. We value you and don't want to cause any harm through the things we discuss.

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DEFENDANT: Outland

EVIDENCE: Manos Outlander Sauvignon Blanc

SCENE OF THE CRIME: The Scottish Highlands

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Hey there, my friend! Welcome to our latest episode, where we take a fun and sometimes intense ride through the world of Outlander. 🚀 We're deep diving into all the juicy details and complex relationships that've got us hooked on this time-traveling adventure!

 

This week, we uncork some thoughts on everything from quantum physics to Scottish history, and debate the realism of Outlander's storyline alongside our trusty sleep-aid assistant, Hermes. 🐾 Whether it's sharing a laugh or unpacking some heavier themes, we're all about creating a cozy space for these conversations.

 

As we sip on some wine, we explore the different layers (just like a fine onion) of the show's characters, the lavish costumes, and how they age those kilts just right. So, grab a glass, get comfy, and join us for a chat! Cheers! 🍷

Sidebar Ep. 105: Surviving the Purge: Creative Self-Defense Ideas

Hey there, welcome to another thrilling episode of True Crimes Against Wine! In this spooky season special, we're diving into the hypothetical chaos of The Purge. With a mix of humor and strategy, we chat about potential self-defense weapons and the hilarity of having to work as a DoorDasher during such a wild event.

From debating the merits of a trusty rake versus a solid two-by-four, to the ridiculous concept of leaving 'please take one' notes during the purge, this episode is all about survival with a twist. And, of course, we question why people aren't using the Purge to create some positive societal change.

Join us for a laugh as we explore these outrageous scenarios, debate obscure questions, and, as always, share a drink while keeping it real. Whether you're here for the giggles or the wine, there's something in this episode for everyone. Cheers, and happy spooky season!

CASE 0412: Roll For Podcast

DEFENDANT: Dungeons and Dragons
EVIDENCE: Quest's End Warlock Whiskey
SCENE OF THE CRIME: Your Imagination

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Welcome to our latest episode where we dive into the magical realm of Dungeons & Dragons, exploring the adventures and misadventures it offers. Get comfortable as we discuss the nuances of creating characters, rolling dice for destiny, and whether you should add a twinkle or shine to your D&D persona.

We also indulge in the tale of Matthew Lillard's whiskey creation, Quest's End, and its enticing flavors that might stave off scurvy, or maybe just transport you to a ship's deck. Whether you're a whiskey aficionado or simply D&D-curious, this episode promises a journey through taste and imagination.

Join us as we banter about our experiences, mishaps, and the unexpected hilarity that ensues when fantasy meets reality. It's an epic quest full of laughter, insights, and the reminder that every critical fail can turn into an unforgettable story. Cheers!

Sidebar Ep. 104: Wigging Out: The Silliest Pet Purchases

Hey there! In this fun and lighthearted episode, we're diving into the charmingly absurd world of pet spoiling.  Whether it's buying wigs for dogs or getting those must-have squeaky toys, there's no limit to how far we'll go for our furry friends! 

Join us as we chat about our most ridiculous purchases for our beloved pooches, complete with hilariously cute costumes and unexpected toy stories.  From Halloween-themed outfits to plushy hoodies, discover what makes our dogs' wardrobes and toyboxes so uniquely adorable.

We absolutely love doting on our pets, and hey, they deserve all the love and silliness we can give! So grab your favorite drink, sit back, and enjoy a hearty laugh as we share our tales of spoiled pets and whimsy. Cheers! 

 

 

 

EPISODE 0411: Do Miss the Bus!

DEFENDANT: Frida Kahlo

EVIDENCE: Cigar Box Cabernet Sauvignon, Frida Edition

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Maipo Valley, Chile

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Hey there, true crime aficionados! In today’s episode, we’re diving into the fascinating world of Frida Kahlo, an iconic artist who painted her own path despite all odds. We’ll chat about her tumultuous relationship with fellow artist Diego Rivera, her unapologetic embrace of her unique beauty, and how her unyielding spirit came to symbolize Mexican cultural pride.

 

Join us as we sip on a delightful wine that pairs perfectly with tales of revolutionary art and passionate affairs. We’ll explore her creative process, her struggles with health and heartbreak, and how her legacy continues to inspire generations.

 

So grab a glass, settle in, and let’s toast to Frida — the artist who defied conventions and captivated the world. Cheers!

Sidebar Ep. 103: Designing Haunted Houses for Your Friends and Frenemies

Hey there, and welcome back to our spooky shenanigans at True Crime Against Wine Sidebar! 🎃 In this episode, we're diving into the world of haunted houses, but with a twist. Ever wondered what kind of haunted house your friends might design just for you? Or how about your fiancée? It's a wild ride of fears and phobias coming to life in ways you never imagined!

 

Join us as we chat about snakes dropping from ceilings, haunted museums, and even some jumpy moments for those who startle easily. We explore the fine art of designing the perfect terrifying experience tailored for friends, fiancés, and maybe even a certain billionaire or two. 😉

 

So grab a comfy seat, maybe a glass of wine, and let's get into the spirit of things with some laughs and a few chills along the way. And remember, time's just a construct, so spooky season happens whenever we want it to. Cheers! 🥂

EPISODE 0410: A Song of Wit and Wine

DEFENDANT: George R.R. Martin

EVIDENCE: House of the Dragon Cabernet Sauvignon

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Westeros

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Welcome back, my fellow wine aficionados and Westeros wanderers! In today’s True Crimes Against Wine, we're popping the cork on a special edition for all you Game of Thrones and House of Dragon fans. Picture this: the lush vineyards of Oregon meet the mystery of the Iron Throne. Are you intrigued yet?

We’re diving deep into the heart of the Willamette region, dissecting its finest Pinot Noir while musing over what makes this grape the 'heartbreak' of wines. Expect nothing less than a silky, seductive sip with just a whisper of vanilla and a gentle caress of French oak. Sounds like a perfect smooch in a glass, right?

Stay tuned as we fumble our way through tasting notes, discuss the athletic prospects of netball (British listeners, isn’t this a hoot?), and, oh yes, our vigorous debate on costumed characters from the Seven Kingdoms! Whether you’re more of a Stark, Lannister, or Targaryen (or like us, just trying to not spill the wine), there’s something in today’s episode for every type of fan.

Sidebar Ep. 102: A First-Timer's Revelations at Atlanta Pride

Hey pals! In this episode, we dive into an unforgettable day at Atlanta’s Pride Parade. Our first-timer shares their excitement about embracing the vibrant, joyful atmosphere while soaking in the diverse community spirit. 🌈

 

Listen in as we chat about everything from the heartwarming moments with angelic protectors shielding us from hate to the quirky charm of our local animal rescue puppies strutting their stuff. And yes, we also discuss the delightful fashion choices that kept us cool and swag-ready. 😉

 

Whether you’re a Pride veteran or a curious newbie, this invite is yours to join us next year and experience the love, acceptance, and fun firsthand. Until then, cheers and hugs! 🥂

COMPANION EPISODE: Celine Sing-along!

Welcome to the companion Sidebar to our special Tophermas Celine Dion episode! In this magical rendition, our Judges have just finished recording, so to put it frankly, they are pretty lit. So why not record them answering musical trivia for your entertainment? That's right; we have more bad singing and hilarity for you! Consider this our holiday gift to you! Cheers, loves!

CASE 0409: Cuz I'm Your Topher, And You Are My Wine (Power of Love holiday remix)

DEFENDANT: CELINE DION!!!
EVIDENCE: Domaine Delaporte Sancerre, Loire Valley, FR
SCENE OF THE CRIME: The Universe

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*DISCLAIMER* This episode includes cringe-worthy segments of terrible singing. If you have sensitive ears (or stomachs) please be advised.

 

Happy Birthday, Judge Topher!!! That's right, it is Tophermas Day! It's all downhill from here for the rest of December. BUT to celebrate the season, we are drinking our fanciest wine yet in honor of your favorite Judge's Fairy God-Diva, the greatest singer in the world, the incomparable Celine Marie Claudette Dion! Join us as we deep dive into the life of this beloved icon, from young ingenue to global superstar. Aaaaand... Because it is the most wonderful day of the year, be sure to check out the special Sidebar "Companion Episode" we so graciously gifted you all, set to air on Christmas Day! *SPOILER ALERT* We were already drunk when we started recording, so you are guaranteed to have a lot of fun listening to us make absolute fools of ourselves! You're welcome! 😆

Cheers, ciao, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOPHER!!!