True Crimes Against Wine

Hey, friend — welcome back to another cozy, slightly cursed episode of True Crimes Against Wine. We read Melanie's letter (love you, Melanie) about falling asleep to our show and waking up with absolute wine-fueled nightmares, and honestly? Same. We dive into the weird world of stress dreams versus full-on nightmares: the classic bathroom-where-the-stalls-don't-fit, the endless-final-exam-that-you-never-studied, and the work-nightmare where the POS system is plotting against you. Relatable and chaotic.

We also swap true nightmare stories — slow-running to lock doors, doors that open when they absolutely shouldn’t, and the poor sleep-talker whose nightly mantra is so consistent it’s basically a law. There are laughs, empathetic groans, and yes, a little bit of screaming in your sleep. It’s the kind of chat that makes you feel like you’re on the couch with us, wine glass in hand (or in the other room, as we attempted this time).

If you’re prone to spooky dreams, maybe skip the Halloween episodes before bed — or do you want the thrill? Either way, we appreciate our listeners who drift off to our nonsense, and we’ll keep reading your letters. Also, free swag! Koosies, tall and standard, random old merch — we’ll throw together a care package for our long-timers.

So cheers to better dreams, fewer open door moments, and fewer Trulies that taste like a crime scene. Sweet dreams, and keep the letters coming.

DEFENDANT: Bruce

EVIDENCE: Jaws Amity Island Red Blend

SCENE OF THE CRIME: A Beach Near You

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Hey friend — welcome to the season finale of True Crimes Against Wine, where we drank a Jaws-labeled Napa red and then took a deep dive into sharks, sea-snail sex, and why Spielberg’s technical failures made cinema history. We’re sipping a 55% Petit Syrah blend with Merlot, Cabernet and a cheeky 5% Aligoté (yes, Aligoté!), talking oak and cinnamon, and wondering whether the grape’s fruit-forward nose would match the surprisingly soft, dry sip.

We reminisce about our first Jaws experiences, dissect the iconic two-note theme (you know the one), and praise the film’s suspenseful genius born from broken mechanical sharks. There are quiz rounds, outfit descriptions (I’m the poodle in a fur coat — clearly), and a whole lot of drunk rambling about bull sharks, the USS Indianapolis, friendship foam, and sea-creature mating rituals that somehow led us to discuss third nipples and the best mid-’70s blazers. Classic season finale energy.

If you love movie lore, bad-but-fun wine labels, and unfiltered sidebar chaos, this episode is a salty, sunburned treat. Grab something chilled (or cellar-temp) and come hang — we’ll keep the people’s court, the sidebar nonsense, and maybe even a special summer surprise if we remember. Until then: stay in the shallow end, cheers, and happy summer.

Hey friend — welcome back to True Crimes Against Wine. Today we dive into a toothpaste-level messy Reddit post: a woman sleeps with a guy who flirted with her, later finds out (via an unsent text) he’s in a relationship, and now wonders if she's the asshole for continuing to hook up. Spoiler: the hosts have strong opinions.

We read the whole thing out loud — the creeping suggestive looks, the technical "I'm not married" dodge, the unsent confession, and that shaky justification that ‘‘if it's not me it'll be someone else anyway.’’ We call out the red flags: half-truths, deletions, and anyone who hides things with legalistic wordplay. If someone relies on technicalities to lie, they're not a trustworthy partner — and that matters for everyone involved.

The tone gets real and candid: the hosts own up to past mistakes, talk about what it feels like to be cheated on, and explain why continuing to sleep with someone you know is in a relationship is choosing to aid a betrayal. You're not culpable for what you didn't know, but once you know, it's on you to do better. The verdict is blunt and unforgettable.

We also unpack the messy justifications people use, the hazards of affairs becoming a pattern, and why honesty should be non-negotiable. Expect laughs, sharp takes, a few gross metaphors, and a solid "cut your losses and move on."

Got a juicy Reddit case you want judged on People's Court? Send it to TrueCrimesAgainstWine on Instagram or drop us a line at our Gmail — we love the messy ones. Cheers, and enjoy the episode.

DEFENDANT: Scarlett O'Hara 

EVIDENCE: Southern Belle Jumilla, "The Mourner" 

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Jumilla, Spain, oddly enough

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Hey friend — grab a glass and curl up: this episode pairs a bold Spanish wine called Southern Belle with the messy, fascinating world of Gone with the Wind. We unpack the bottle (visually and taste-wise), the winery’s playful Southern Gothic art, and the surprising bourbon-barrel twist — then dive deep into Margaret Mitchell’s life, the book’s complicated legacy, and the movie’s glittering, problematic hold on culture.

 

We don’t shy away from the sticky stuff: racism, mythmaking, class, and how nostalgia can soften historical pain. We also gush over the label art, sip notes of ripe cherry and clay, and argue about Scarlett, Rhett, Hattie McDaniel, and who truly deserves blame — while keeping it personal, candid, and a little bit goofy. Whether you want wine recs or a thoughtful, cozy chat about one of America’s most contentious classics, this episode has you covered.

 

Pop a bottle, take a seat on the imaginary Spanish terrace, and let’s talk about stories, wine, and why some things resist easy answers.

Get ready for one of the wildest mother-in-law stories and family drama podcast episodes yet!  In this hilarious People’s Court episode of True Crimes Against Wine, Judge Topher dives into a shocking gender reveal gone wrong involving an overbearing mother-in-law, toxic family dynamics, pregnancy boundary issues, and a husband caught in the middle.

When a first-time mom’s special baby gender reveal is hijacked by her manipulative mother-in-law, who shares the baby’s gender news without permission, the drama escalates fast. From intrusive pregnancy behavior and public belly-kissing to emotional manipulation, disrespect, and serious boundary-crossing, this episode unpacks one of the internet’s most outrageous parenting and in-law conflict stories. 

If you love Reddit-style relationship drama, mother-in-law horror stories, pregnancy podcasts, family conflict discussions, and funny commentary on toxic relationships, this episode is for you. We’re talking baby announcement etiquette, difficult in-laws, setting healthy boundaries, and how to protect your peace before your new baby arrives. 

Pour yourself a glass and join us for this funny, relatable, and brutally honest breakdown of family dysfunction, marriage stress, and next-level grandparent drama. Cheers! 

DEFENDANT: Leonardo DaVinci

EVIDENCE: DaVinci Pinot Grigio

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Renaissance Italy

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Hey friend — come hang out with us for a delightfully silly, slightly spicy stroll through art, wine, and history. We’re sipping an easy Pinot Grigio, dreaming up melon-and-prosciutto pizzas, and taking Leonardo da Vinci on tour: his notebooks, love life rumors, flying machines, and that massive (now-ruined) horse project. We gossip about museum wine nights, the chaos of the Louvre, and Michelangelo’s beef about buff bodies — all while drinking, cracking jokes, and treating the past like our most dramatic friend.

If you love cozy, chatty episodes that blend pop-culture riffs with art history, this one’s for you: we mix tasting notes (pear, green apple, underripe honeydew), travel stories, and scandalous little details about Renaissance Italy (including sodomy charges, apprentices, and sketchy patrons). It’s like eavesdropping on two pals at the museum bar.

Pull up a chair, pour a glass, and prepare for Leonardo’s courtroom (sort of) — full of gossip, goofy hypotheticals, pizza plots, and a little wine-fueled wisdom. Ciao, cheers, and try not to get gooey over the melon slices on your pizza.

Hey — let’s talk Gothic. If you loved the Wuthering Heights episode but aren’t sure what “Gothic” means, here’s a friendly, no‑pressure rundown: it’s a literary vibe that exploded in the late 1700s and early 1800s (part of Romanticism) and stuck around because people couldn’t get enough of spooky mystery, big feelings, and weird houses.

At its core Gothic mixes suspense and the supernatural with secrets from the past: ghosts (or things that feel like ghosts), hidden diaries or cursed heirlooms, murmured scandals, and the sense that history is still very much alive — and maybe angry. Stories often leave the door open between a rational explanation and the uncanny, so you’re always wondering what’s real.

The setting matters: remote, isolated places—windy moors, stormy cliffs, spooky woods, and usually a grand but slightly crumbling manor. That atmosphere of beauty plus decay is basically Gothic’s aesthetic fingerprint. Protagonists are frequently women, which made these books especially thrilling for female readers back when options for adventurous stories were limited.

Other common threads: intense emotion over reason, troubled or doomed romances, the ever‑present shadow of death, and objects that carry memory or menace. Short stories work great as an intro (hello, Poe), and novellas are perfect if you want a quick, delicious chill.

Gothic isn’t one thing — it splinters into cool subgenres. Southern Gothic, for example, folds in religious hypocrisy, the legacy of violence, and heavy landscape feeling. Contemporary takes like Mexican Gothic (Silvia Moreno‑Garcia) remix classic Gothic tropes—isolated mansions, family secrets—with new cultures, histories, and anxieties. Other great touchstones: Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, Rebecca, The Turn of the Screw (Bly Manor), Shirley Jackson’s Hill House, Daphne du Maurier, Edgar Allan Poe, and even films like Crimson Peak that lean into the look and mood.

Gothic also shows up in real cultural practices and local histories: think of rituals that try to heal a place’s memory or reckon with past violence. Those real world echoes are part of what keeps the genre alive and relevant — it’s not just spooky houses, it’s how communities remember and reckon with what happened there.

If you want to dive in, try a Poe short story, a classic like Jane Eyre, or a modern pick like Mexican Gothic or a T. Kingfisher novella. And hey — if you’ve got favorites, tell us. I want to know what weird, moody books give you chills.

DEFENDANT: PBS Kids!

EVIDENCE: A to Z Wineworks Chardonnay

SCENE OF THE CRIME: A TV near you! 

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Hey friend — grab a glass and settle in! In this cozy episode of True Crimes Against Wine, Judge Topher and Judge Rachel pair a bright, stainless-steel A to Z Oregon Chardonnay with a nostalgic deep-dive into PBS Kids. Expect lots of nostalgic tangents (Lisa Frank stickers, slap bracelets, and wishbone adventures), a warm appreciation for Sesame Street, Arthur, Reading Rainbow and more, plus a fun celebrity pop-quiz about famous folks who popped up on kids’ programming.

We chat about the wine's fresh pineapple, pear, and apple notes, why it's a perfect picnic pick, and how A to Z Wineworks' women-led, sustainability-focused mission makes sipping feel extra great. Then we get delightfully nostalgic — from Mr. Rogers and Carmen Sandiego to Ghostwriter, Dragon Tales and the many ways PBS taught curiosity, empathy and real-world smarts.

It's casual, silly, and heartfelt: think spirited wine tasting meets childhood memory lane. So open a bottle, slap on a bracelet, and come hang out with us for a chat about why PBS Kids still matters, why this Chardonnay punches above its $15 price tag, and why some shows (and stickers) are forever.

Hey, friend — we just finished hashing out the latest Bridgerton season and had too many thoughts not to share. Part one felt overly familiar, like a direct nod to Cinderella, but give it time: the second half finds its footing with sharper plotting, satisfying sleuthing, and some welcome emotional payoffs (yes, Sophie and Benedict get their moment).

The season leans hard into Queen Charlotte’s boredom, Penelope’s hard-won choices, and a sneaky new Lady Whistledown reveal that throws everything wide open — cue the credits read by a surprise voice. Eloise’s storyline is the one we’re most hyped about for the future; we’re quietly rooting for her to break the mold, choose herself (or maybe a woman), and even become a swashbuckling travel writer. Honestly, bring on season five with Eloise center stage.

If you’re looking for juicy erotic peaks like earlier seasons, this one’s tamer, but it’s still a gorgeous binge: the costumes, soundtrack, sets, and cheeky drama make it perfect for half-watching while you scroll. Overall? Not the show’s strongest season, but fun enough — and it leaves you excited for what’s next.

DEFENDANT: Frances Hodgson Burnett

EVIDENCE: Secret Garden Rose Gin

SCENE OF THE CRIME: The moors, darling, the moors!

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Hi — come sit with us while we get a little giddy and a lot floral. In this episode of True Crimes Against Wine we test a rosy Scottish gin called Secret Garden, riff on three garden-ready cocktails (a Rose Garden Spritz, a Strawberry Smash, and a Lavender-Lemon Stroll), and wander straight into the moody, magical world of Frances Hodgson Burnett's The Secret Garden. We talk sparkling cava vs prosecco, muddled berries, honey-lavender syrup, and why mint on the rim is a total game-changer, then break down why this hundred-year-old story still makes our hearts ache — the visuals, the soundtrack, the gothic elements, and yes, the complicated colonial moments that deserve honest conversation. Bring a glass, bring a friend, and get ready for springtime vibes, serious giggles, and a few tender asides about loss, literature, and why a secret garden is the best kind of therapy.