True Crimes Against Wine

CASE 0506: Hey! Listen!

DEFENDANT: The Hero of Time

EVIDENCE: Siren Song Merlot/Syrah blend

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Hyrule

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Hey friend — pop a cork and get comfy. In this episode of True Crime Against Wine we pivoted (blame the internet and a mis-shipped bottle) and ended up sipping a lush Merlot-Syrah blend from Siren Song while getting delightfully nerdy about The Legend of Zelda. Expect giggles, throwback gaming stories, and super honest wine notes — think plush blackberries, juicy plum, and a grown-up juice-box vibe that’s dangerously drinkable.

We dive into Zelda’s origins (shoutout to Miyamoto and Tezuka), reminisce about Ocarina of Time demos at the mall, and debate favorite entries like Wind Waker and Breath of the Wild. There’s talk about iconic villains (Ganon, of course), the weirdly existential Link’s Awakening plot, cult-fave enemies (stalfos!), and why Link’s silent-hero design is pure genius for player immersion. Also: a brief side-eye at 900-number culture, a few messy sibling stories, and absolutely too many sips of wine. If you’re into cozy chats about wine, gaming lore, and dumb personal anecdotes, this one’s for you. Cheers — it’s dangerous to go alone, so bring a friend (and maybe another bottle).

People's Court Ep. 03: Pregnant Sister vs. Back-Pain Boyfriend: Who Gets the Bed?

Hey friend — here’s the messy little episode: you’re living in a one-bedroom with a partner who does construction and gets terrible back pain, and your seven-month pregnant sister shows up after a big fight with her husband asking to crash and sleep in your bed. Your boyfriend said he couldn’t give it up, you apologized to avoid a fight, and later you found your sister crying in the bathroom. Cue Mom calling and being furious. Ugh.

 

I totally see both sides: your sister is emotional, pregnant, and needed space, and that’s precious, but your partner’s need for real sleep because of his physical job is also a legit, health-related boundary. This isn’t just about feelings — it’s about a shared home and agreed-upon boundaries, plus the practical reality of one real bed and a couch that’s not ideal every night.

 

If it were me, I’d start by asking how serious the fight was — if your sister left because she felt unsafe, give her the bed and your full support. If it was a heated argument and she just needed space, a one-night compromise (you on the couch, sister and partner in bed) or a clear, empathetic conversation about limits is reasonable. Neither kindness nor boundaries have to cancel each other out.

CASE 0505: Pass the Peas, Please

DEFENDANT: Pazuzu

EVIDENCE: Manos Special Edition "The Exorcist" Cabernet Sauvignon

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Hell, or a staircase near you... 

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Hey friend — welcome to our spooky season send-off. We cracked a bottle of Manos Cabernet, sunk into the couch, and dove headfirst into The Exorcist: the movie, the poster, the Pazuzu lore and all the deliciously grim behind-the-scenes gossip. Expect laughter, wine-fueled tangents, and the kind of true-crime sidetracks that only two slightly lubricated hosts can provide.

We unpack why that iconic image of Father Merrin under the lamplight still freaks us out (Magritte vibes included), how the film shaped the possession subgenre, and why Linda Blair and Ellen Burstyn left their mark on horror history. We talk casting choices that almost were (Marlon Brando, Audrey Hepburn?), the haunting performance choices, and how Pazuzu went from ancient Mesopotamia to Hollywood’s demon of choice.

Of course we get into the messy, human side: on-set injuries, practical effects (the real vomit/peanut-soup moment), Mercedes McCambridge’s voicework, and William Friedkin’s famously brutal directing methods. Plus the awkward modern problems — streaming paywalls, holiday theater lines, and whether you should ever feed Necco wafers to road-trip company.

Sprinkled between film history are the personal stories: first-time screenings, dating decisions made at horror films, and the ridiculous pop-culture riffs that happen when you mix wine with movie analysis. If you love spooky, culty cinema, or just want a cozy chat about why The Exorcist still matters (and why Pazuzu might actually be misunderstood), this episode is for you.

Give it a listen, tell us your favorite spooky bottle art, and rank our mini-series with us — we want to know which movie haunted you the most. Cheers (and maybe don’t say Pazuzu in a mirror)!

Sidebar Ep. 127: Spooky Season Essentials: From Hannibal to Hocus Pocus

Join us for a laid-back sidebar of True Crimes Against Wine where we dive into our favorite spooky season picks — from psychological dread to nostalgic childhood classics. We trade top-three lists, debate Hocus Pocus ownership (sorry, Topher), and discover surprising picks like Arsenic and Old Lace, Over the Garden Wall, and Trick 'r Treat. Expect cozy black-and-white vibes, campy anthology thrills, and sweet traditions like midnight margaritas and seasonal movie nights. If you love autumnal atmosphere, classic scares, or feel-good witchy rom-coms, this chat has something to add to your watchlist. Pop some popcorn, put on a sweater, and come hang with us for movie recs and cozy fall chat.  

CASE 0504: The IT Factor

DEFENDANT: Pennywise the Dancing Clown

EVIDENCE: Manos Special Edition "IT" Cabernet Sauvignon

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Derry, Maine

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Hey friend — pull up a chair (but maybe keep an eye on the storm drain). In this episode we crack open some Manos vino and dive headfirst into Stephen King’s It: the book, the 1990 miniseries, and the 2017/2019 films. We chat about why the various adaptations land so differently, what makes Pennywise terrifying (Tim Curry vs. Bill Skarsgård), and how the story’s big ideas — childhood trauma, memory, and fear — get handled across formats.

We also get candid about the parts that don’t sit right: problematic elements in the book, how King’s worldview shows up in his writing, and why some of his choices (yep, we mean that one scene) feel unnecessary and disturbing. It’s a frank, cozy, and sometimes messy convo — the kind you’d have with your snarkiest, warmest friends over a glass (or three).

If you love horror history, behind-the-scenes casting tea, and judge-y takes on iconic scenes, this episode is for you. And if you’re terrified of clowns or storm drains... we hear you. We’ll hold the light while you walk by the gutter.

People's Court Ep. 02: Trouble in Paradise?

Join the hosts of True Crimes Against Wine as they dive into a heated Am I the A**hole Reddit post: a dad is offered a free family trip to Hawaii but his wife, 7 months pregnant, doesn't want to go. Should he take their toddler and enjoy the rare opportunity, or stay to support his pregnant partner? This episode is equal parts judgment, curiosity, and empathy as the hosts debate medical risks, emotional nuances, and communication in relationships. Expect candid takes, laughs, and real-talk about pregnancy, travel safety, and how to handle tough couple decisions — all delivered with the podcast\'s signature snark and warmth.  

CASE 0503: Friday, Friday, Gotta Get Down on Friday

DEFENDANT: Inconclusive

EVIDENCE: Manos Special Edition Friday 13th Cab Sauv

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Camp Crystal Lake, duh

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 Join Judge Topher and Judge Rachel for a hilariously intimate, wine-soaked chat about the entire Friday the 13th saga. They riff on everything from the original film’s odd pacing and surprise twist to Jason’s evolution (hockey mask, cyborg era, and questionable resurrection logistics). Between sips of Manos Cab and offbeat personal stories (yes, poop tales and mall Freddy sightings included), they debate which sequels make sense, how horror tropes like “sex gets you killed” came to be, and whether Freddy or Jason would actually win. Casual, funny, and warm — it’s like eavesdropping on two friends dissecting slashers, spooky season plans, and the absurdities of genre continuity. Tune in for laughs, nostalgia, and the kind of off-script banter you wish your pals would record.  

Sidebar Ep. 126: Paws & Pinot: Matching Dogs to Their Perfect Pour

Hey friend — welcome back to another cozy, slightly silly episode of True Crimes Against Wine. Today we did what any wine-and-dog-loving friends would do: we matched dog breeds to wines (and one cocktail), riffed on personalities, and learned a few fun facts along the way.

We wandered through some real winners: a graceful Borzoi that felt like mulled wine by a hearth, a tiny-but-mighty Miniature Pinscher who’s totally Napa Valley Cabernet energy, and an every-neighborhood Pitbull that’s basically the reliable, crowd-pleasing Sauvignon Blanc. Then we got into doodles — smart, energetic, sometimes stubborn — which felt like a spicy, cheeky Malbec.

We also paired lab mixes with a California red blend (the kind of bottle you have to investigate online to figure out the exact percentages) and admitted defeat by giving the host’s turbo-then-snoozy puppy an espresso martini because sometimes dogs are straight-up espresso and then instantly a nap.

If you’ve got a breed we didn’t cover (and there are a billion of them), we want to hear what you’d pair your pup with. Hit us up on TikTok, Insta, or via email at True Crimes Against Wine — we might do a part two if you all keep the good ideas coming.

Cheers, and go give your good dog a scratch for us.

CASE 0502: What's Up, Doll Face?

DEFENDANT: Annabelle 

EVIDENCE: Manos Special Edition Annabelle Cabernet Sauvignon

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Hell

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Hey friend — pull up a chair and pour yourself a glass (or two) — we spent the episode diving into Annabelle, Manos' delightfully creepy collector bottles, and a whole lot of supernatural rambling. Expect laughs, movie takes, and some bourbon-powered philosophy about demons, dolls, and the weird stuff that gives you goosebumps.

Whether you’re Team Scared or Team Skeptic, we’re keeping it cozy and a little spooky — like chatting with your most entertainingly weird friend over wine. Come for the horror breakdowns, stay for the ridiculous tangents about haunted lamps, porcelain dolls, and whether priests should just take the damn cursed thing to church.

People's Court Ep. 01: Mother-in-Law Moves In: Family or Fallout?

Hey friend — this episode dives into a tense family showdown: a wife refuses to have her judgmental, purity-culture–pushing mother-in-law move in, while her husband insists it’s his duty. We’re sipping wine, reading Reddit, and delivering a candid verdict about who’s in the wrong — spoiler: it gets heated.

Come for the drama, stay for the spicy takes and listener stories. If you’ve got wild in-law tales, we want to hear them.