True Crimes Against Wine

People's Court Ep. 05: Am I the Gynecologist?

 Hi, welcome to another episode of True Crimes. Against wine. We're doing a people\u2019s court today. The story: two 26-year-olds, six years together. Early on, she was diagnosed with vaginismus — a medical condition that made penetration impossible despite physiotherapy and dilators. For years, they tried oral and manual sex, but over time his desire and emotional connection faded. They fought about whose "fault" it was, he sought therapy, and they tried to end things gradually, but it ended more abruptly after a heated argument. Now she's telling friends he put her in an impossible situation; he's left wondering if he was unreasonable. This episode explores intimacy, medical issues, trauma, guilt, and how young couples navigate big, painful challenges. Join us as we unpack the situation with empathy and honest questions.  

CASE 0513: How Many Heights Could a Wuthering Heights Wuther If a Wuthering Heights Could Wuther Heights?

DEFENDANT: Emily Brontë

EVIDENCE: Goldschmidt Cabernet Sauvignon "Katherine" 2023

SCENE OF THE CRIME: The wild moors of Alexander Valley, Sonoma, CA

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Hey — settle in with a bowl of soup and a good glass, because this episode is equal parts wine tasting and literary sleuthing. We pop a bottle of Goldschmidt’s “Catherine” from Stonemason Hill in Alexander Valley (Sonoma), sniff out garnet color, black cherry and red‑plum fruit, a blueberry peak of ripeness, and a lovely stone‑like minerality with velvety tannins. It’s approachable, not pretentious, and sits in that sweet spot around $40 — perfect to bring to dinner or enjoy on a stormy night with friends (and a dog wedged between you).

Then we tumble headfirst into Wuthering Heights: Emily Brontë’s 1847 Gothic whirlwind of obsession, class friction, and moor‑bound drama. We talk about Emily’s short, wild life, the Brontë family dynamics, the book’s thorny questions (are Catherine and Heathcliff half‑siblings? are they in love or simply consumed by each other?), and why the novel is more morally complicated than the romantic myth that often gets pasted onto it.

Finally, we air our grievances with Emerald Fennell’s new film: gorgeous visuals, striking costumes, and some undeniably hot scenes — but also some big misses. Miscasting, whitewashing a character whose outsider status is crucial to the story, and a sleight-of-hand that ends up glamorizing an abusive, toxic relationship left us frustrated. If you love Wuthering Heights, don’t be fooled: this adaptation is a visually lush reinterpretation, not a faithful or thoughtful translation of the novel’s core themes.

Short version: drink the Catherine (it’s delightful), read the book (it’s messy, brilliant, and not for the faint‑hearted), and watch the movie cautiously — especially if you’re handing it to younger viewers who might mistake obsessive cruelty for tragic romance.

Sidebar Ep. 134: Bridgerton Season 4 React: Cinderella Redux or Lazy Writing?

  Hi there. Welcome to another episode of True Crimes Against Wine. In this episode we dig into Bridgerton season 4 (first four episodes) with hot takes, spoilers, and a lot of laughs. We chat about the new heroine Sophie, Benedict’s surprise Cinderella arc, the show's heavy-handed nods to classic tropes (midnight, silver slippers, the whole shebang), and whether continuing the series past season three was a brilliant idea or a cash-grab mistake. We also talk casting, visual vibes, the recurring music covers, and the characters we wish got more screen time — especially Eloise. Join us as we rant, gush, and debate whether the show’s predictability ruins the fun or if pretty costumes and steamy scenes are still worth the watch.  

CASE 0512: Thar She Blows!

DEFENDANT: Herman Melville 

EVIDENCE: Melville Estate Pinot Noir

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Santa Rita Hills, and the Big Blue Sea

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Hey friend — pour yourself a glass and come sit with us. In this episode Judge Topher and Judge Rachel finally introduce themselves (yes, really) and then proceed to hijack a $75 Santa Rita Hills Pinot Noir, talk glassware, sniff cherries, sage, pepper and a little eucalyptus, and declare that yes: this bottle is absolutely worth the fuss.

 

We wander from tasting notes (garnet color, plums, violets, forest-floor complexity) to winery vibes — estate-grown, sustainable farming, family stories — then slip into full literary chaos as we roast, admire, and gently disembowel Herman Melville. Expect idle mutiny, a ridiculous cross‑examination quiz, surprising Melville facts (Mocha Dick!), and the sacred power of the line "Call me Ishmael."

 

There’s a lot of laughing, a little spilled wine, a bonus boxed-Pinot for scientific — ahem, comparative — purposes, and lots of off‑topic delights: antique store finds, dog shenanigans (Hermes is a star), and the kind of tangents you only get when two people drink nice wine and refuse to act like sober adults.

 

By the end we deliver our verdict: not guilty — this Pinot is a winner. Whether you’re here for the wine geekery, the Melville deep dive, or just to feel like you’re in the room with two pals roasting each other and solving the mysteries of the sea, this episode’s for you. Tell us your White Whale (or your favorite Pinot) — we’ll trade you a story and maybe some podcast swag if you’re brave.

Sidebar Ep.133: Disco Balls, Chocolate Cocktails, and the Vomit Proposal

Hey friend — buckle up. This episode is peak messy and oddly heartwarming: imagine a Victorian house party with deceptive chocolate cocktails (they sneak up on you), a disco ball spin-off, and one of our hosts getting so tanked she ends up barfing in the shower. Classic.

We also dig into the restaurant trenches — you know the ones: forced prix-fixe menus, last-minute menu swaps, entitled Valentine’s diners who stiff servers and act like their big romantic show excuses everything. If you ever wondered why hospitality folks roll their eyes at Feb 14, this episode explains it in gruesome detail.

On the flip side, there’s a genuinely sweet chaos: a sneaky ring in a jacket pocket (disguised among empanadas, naturally), a bout of nausea from cigar smoke, and then—after showers and teeth-brushing—the perfect, quiet proposal at home. It’s hilarious and tender all at once: puke, pajamas, and a very sincere “will you?”

We rant about how Valentine’s can be performative and cruel, celebrate Galentine’s and the small rituals that actually matter, and trade childhood Valentine memories (cupcakes, cheesy hearts, and all). It’s raw, funny, and totally relatable.

Want to swap your best or worst V-Day stories? Slide into our DMs — misery, triumph, and barf tales welcome. Love ya. Cheers.

People's Court Ep.05: Furry Fiasco

Hey — this episode unpacks a vacation that went horribly wrong: a 37-year-old narrator brings her partner, toddler and a 16-year-old dog to visit her parents, who are openly hostile to the aging pup. They repeatedly put the dog outside, dump its water, and make cruel comments about putting her down.

 

The partner withdraws and spends time apart to protect the dog and avoid blowing up, while the narrator freezes because she's conflict-averse and has a fraught relationship with her dad. After they get back, family gossip paints the partner as rude, and the narrator is left asking who the biggest asshole really is.

 

We cut right to it: the parents are the main problem. Depriving an elderly, anxious dog of water and comfort is cruel, and their passive-aggressive escalation — plus the mom's cruel comments — crossed basic lines. The partner's quiet protection felt reasonable, not disrespectful.

 

If you were my friend, here’s the real talk: set boundaries. If your parents can’t treat your dog and your family with basic respect, don’t keep subjecting your kid, your partner, and your pup to that toxicity. Practical moves: offer to stay in a hotel with the dog, arrange separate visits, or limit holiday time until boundaries are respected.

 

You’re allowed to prioritize your immediate family and the emotional safety of your child and pet. Talk to your partner, consider couples or family therapy to sort the fallout, and don’t feel guilty for protecting your household from repeated mistreatment.

 

We rooted for her to protect her dog and reclaim Christmas — and for anyone listening, be the friend who tells someone they’re allowed to choose kindness and healthy boundaries over obligation.

CASE 0511: F-You Scott Fitzgerald

DEFENDANT: Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald

EVIDENCE: Manos Special Edition Great Gatsby Sauvignon Blanc

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Long Island

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Hey friend — come sit with us for a cozy, messy chat where wine and soup fuel a no-holds-barred re-read of The Great Gatsby. We get personal, a little loopy, and deeply into the weeds about Gatsby’s tragic love, Tom’s grossness, Daisy’s contradictions, and whether Nick was totally in love with his neighbor. Spoiler: feelings are messy and rich people are worse.

Pop a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, lean back, and let us walk you through art-deco bottles, literary gossip, and cheating scandals — plus a surprisingly earnest defense of hand-painted wine labels. We talk Fitzgerald’s life (and terrible choices), Zelda’s shadow, speculative queer readings, and how the book manages to feel both glamorous and kind of rotten all at once.

No fake facts here (well, maybe a few), lots of laughs, and zero pretension — just two pals getting hungry, distracted by soup, and falling down rabbit holes about vintage covers, terrible men, and whether Gatsby’s mansion was modeled on a castle. Bring snacks, or don’t — we’ll probably eat them anyway. You’re invited, old sport.

Sidebar Ep. 132: Domestic Partnership on the Rocks: A Dust-Up over Dishes

In this episode of True Crimes Against Wine, the hosts dive into a messy roommate-turned-partner dispute about chores. After three years together, a couple split household duties by a rota: feeding three picky cats, handling bills, cleaning litter, doing the washing up, hoovering, and more. Tension explodes when one partner fails to hoover and forgets to put a new toilet roll on the holder. The other partner comes home furious, calling the lapse a betrayal, which leads to name-calling and talk of moving out. The hosts unpack compatibility, expectations around cleanliness, gendered chore dynamics, and whether the couple’s split was inevitable. They tease more stories to come and invite listeners to send in their own juicy disputes.

CASE 0510: New Money, Old Expectations

DEFENDANT: Gilded Age Decadence 

EVIDENCE: Biltmore Estate Reserve Chenin Blanc 

SCENE OF THE CRIME: The Biltmore Estate, Asheville, NC

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Hey friend — welcome back to True Crimes Against Wine for our first full episode of 2026! We’re sipping a slightly off-dry Chenin Blanc (surprise: from Biltmore in North Carolina), chatting about how it tastes like walking through a crisp apple orchard, debating whether monkeys belong at high-society parties, and diving headfirst into the Gilded Age — Mansions, dollar princesses, scandalous debutante balls, and the Vanderbilts’ iconic Biltmore Estate. We pair tasting notes (pear, honey, kiwi, and a lovely balancing acidity) with wild historical tangents, food pairing dreams (shishitos, spicy sausage, melon & prosciutto), and way too many fantasies about being wealthy eccentrics. If you love wine stories, architectural daydreams, and irreverent history deep dives, join us for laughs, snacks, and one judge-y quiz. Tell us your snack, your Biltmore memories, and whether you’d host a monkey at your next party. Cheers! 

 

 

 

Sidebar Ep. 131: New Year, New Vintages, New Scandals

When wine is on trial, the gossip is dishy, the judges are drunk, the verdicts are random — welcome to True Crimes Against Wine and our first sidebar of 2026! Happy New Year, friend! We kicked off the episode riffing about nostalgia, then dove headfirst into what actually matters: what the next year (and beyond) looks like for wine.

Quick take: climate shifts are pushing vineyards north and uphill, which means you’ll be tasting wines with brighter acidity instead of the old-school fruit bombs and heavy oak. Expect to see more accessible, interesting bottles from South America, New Zealand and Australia pop up in your grocery store — tariffs and global economics make Europe trickier right now. Small domestic winemakers are likely to adapt by offering more reserve and niche wines to protect margins, which could change what becomes mainstream over time.

Heads-up: this stuff isn’t instant. Replanting vines and aging wines takes years — sometimes close to a decade for certain styles — so producers are making high-stakes bets on harvest timing and vintage quality. I’ve got so much respect for the family-run wineries putting in the sweat equity. As a drinker, that uncertainty is part of the romance; as someone running the farm, I’d be a Walmart greeter in a heartbeat.

Also, watch for celebrity collabs — fewer hands-on wine barons, more low-risk partnerships that boost publicity. And yes, tequila keeps rising (margarita season, anyone?), so expect more spirits episodes and celeb bottles to show up fast. If you spot any fun celeb wines or weird regional gems, send them our way — we can’t find everything alone.

We’re always sourcing stuff and would love your tips. Reach out at truecrimesagainstwine@gmail.com and find us on TikTok and Instagram — we might send swag. Cheers to 2026: drink a lot, survive, and let’s see what the year pours for us. Bye for now.