True Crimes Against Wine

People's Court Ep.06: Don't Poke the Mama Bear

Get ready for one of the wildest mother-in-law stories and family drama podcast episodes yet!  In this hilarious People’s Court episode of True Crimes Against Wine, Judge Topher dives into a shocking gender reveal gone wrong involving an overbearing mother-in-law, toxic family dynamics, pregnancy boundary issues, and a husband caught in the middle.

When a first-time mom’s special baby gender reveal is hijacked by her manipulative mother-in-law, who shares the baby’s gender news without permission, the drama escalates fast. From intrusive pregnancy behavior and public belly-kissing to emotional manipulation, disrespect, and serious boundary-crossing, this episode unpacks one of the internet’s most outrageous parenting and in-law conflict stories. 

If you love Reddit-style relationship drama, mother-in-law horror stories, pregnancy podcasts, family conflict discussions, and funny commentary on toxic relationships, this episode is for you. We’re talking baby announcement etiquette, difficult in-laws, setting healthy boundaries, and how to protect your peace before your new baby arrives. 

Pour yourself a glass and join us for this funny, relatable, and brutally honest breakdown of family dysfunction, marriage stress, and next-level grandparent drama. Cheers! 

CASE 0516: Turtle Power!

DEFENDANT: Leonardo DaVinci

EVIDENCE: DaVinci Pinot Grigio

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Renaissance Italy

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Hey friend — come hang out with us for a delightfully silly, slightly spicy stroll through art, wine, and history. We’re sipping an easy Pinot Grigio, dreaming up melon-and-prosciutto pizzas, and taking Leonardo da Vinci on tour: his notebooks, love life rumors, flying machines, and that massive (now-ruined) horse project. We gossip about museum wine nights, the chaos of the Louvre, and Michelangelo’s beef about buff bodies — all while drinking, cracking jokes, and treating the past like our most dramatic friend.

If you love cozy, chatty episodes that blend pop-culture riffs with art history, this one’s for you: we mix tasting notes (pear, green apple, underripe honeydew), travel stories, and scandalous little details about Renaissance Italy (including sodomy charges, apprentices, and sketchy patrons). It’s like eavesdropping on two pals at the museum bar.

Pull up a chair, pour a glass, and prepare for Leonardo’s courtroom (sort of) — full of gossip, goofy hypotheticals, pizza plots, and a little wine-fueled wisdom. Ciao, cheers, and try not to get gooey over the melon slices on your pizza.

Sidebar Ep.137: Moors, Manors & Midnight Secrets: A Beginner’s Guide to Gothic Fiction

Hey — let’s talk Gothic. If you loved the Wuthering Heights episode but aren’t sure what “Gothic” means, here’s a friendly, no‑pressure rundown: it’s a literary vibe that exploded in the late 1700s and early 1800s (part of Romanticism) and stuck around because people couldn’t get enough of spooky mystery, big feelings, and weird houses.

At its core Gothic mixes suspense and the supernatural with secrets from the past: ghosts (or things that feel like ghosts), hidden diaries or cursed heirlooms, murmured scandals, and the sense that history is still very much alive — and maybe angry. Stories often leave the door open between a rational explanation and the uncanny, so you’re always wondering what’s real.

The setting matters: remote, isolated places—windy moors, stormy cliffs, spooky woods, and usually a grand but slightly crumbling manor. That atmosphere of beauty plus decay is basically Gothic’s aesthetic fingerprint. Protagonists are frequently women, which made these books especially thrilling for female readers back when options for adventurous stories were limited.

Other common threads: intense emotion over reason, troubled or doomed romances, the ever‑present shadow of death, and objects that carry memory or menace. Short stories work great as an intro (hello, Poe), and novellas are perfect if you want a quick, delicious chill.

Gothic isn’t one thing — it splinters into cool subgenres. Southern Gothic, for example, folds in religious hypocrisy, the legacy of violence, and heavy landscape feeling. Contemporary takes like Mexican Gothic (Silvia Moreno‑Garcia) remix classic Gothic tropes—isolated mansions, family secrets—with new cultures, histories, and anxieties. Other great touchstones: Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, Rebecca, The Turn of the Screw (Bly Manor), Shirley Jackson’s Hill House, Daphne du Maurier, Edgar Allan Poe, and even films like Crimson Peak that lean into the look and mood.

Gothic also shows up in real cultural practices and local histories: think of rituals that try to heal a place’s memory or reckon with past violence. Those real world echoes are part of what keeps the genre alive and relevant — it’s not just spooky houses, it’s how communities remember and reckon with what happened there.

If you want to dive in, try a Poe short story, a classic like Jane Eyre, or a modern pick like Mexican Gothic or a T. Kingfisher novella. And hey — if you’ve got favorites, tell us. I want to know what weird, moody books give you chills.

CASE 0516: I Think Big Bird Is Drunk...

DEFENDANT: PBS Kids!

EVIDENCE: A to Z Wineworks Chardonnay

SCENE OF THE CRIME: A TV near you! 

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Hey friend — grab a glass and settle in! In this cozy episode of True Crimes Against Wine, Judge Topher and Judge Rachel pair a bright, stainless-steel A to Z Oregon Chardonnay with a nostalgic deep-dive into PBS Kids. Expect lots of nostalgic tangents (Lisa Frank stickers, slap bracelets, and wishbone adventures), a warm appreciation for Sesame Street, Arthur, Reading Rainbow and more, plus a fun celebrity pop-quiz about famous folks who popped up on kids’ programming.

We chat about the wine's fresh pineapple, pear, and apple notes, why it's a perfect picnic pick, and how A to Z Wineworks' women-led, sustainability-focused mission makes sipping feel extra great. Then we get delightfully nostalgic — from Mr. Rogers and Carmen Sandiego to Ghostwriter, Dragon Tales and the many ways PBS taught curiosity, empathy and real-world smarts.

It's casual, silly, and heartfelt: think spirited wine tasting meets childhood memory lane. So open a bottle, slap on a bracelet, and come hang out with us for a chat about why PBS Kids still matters, why this Chardonnay punches above its $15 price tag, and why some shows (and stickers) are forever.

Sidebar Ep. 136: Bridgerton’s New Whisper: Lady Whistledown Returns (But Not Who You Think)

Hey, friend — we just finished hashing out the latest Bridgerton season and had too many thoughts not to share. Part one felt overly familiar, like a direct nod to Cinderella, but give it time: the second half finds its footing with sharper plotting, satisfying sleuthing, and some welcome emotional payoffs (yes, Sophie and Benedict get their moment).

The season leans hard into Queen Charlotte’s boredom, Penelope’s hard-won choices, and a sneaky new Lady Whistledown reveal that throws everything wide open — cue the credits read by a surprise voice. Eloise’s storyline is the one we’re most hyped about for the future; we’re quietly rooting for her to break the mold, choose herself (or maybe a woman), and even become a swashbuckling travel writer. Honestly, bring on season five with Eloise center stage.

If you’re looking for juicy erotic peaks like earlier seasons, this one’s tamer, but it’s still a gorgeous binge: the costumes, soundtrack, sets, and cheeky drama make it perfect for half-watching while you scroll. Overall? Not the show’s strongest season, but fun enough — and it leaves you excited for what’s next.

CASE 0515: Shhh! It's a Secret

DEFENDANT: Frances Hodgson Burnett

EVIDENCE: Secret Garden Rose Gin

SCENE OF THE CRIME: The moors, darling, the moors!

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Hi — come sit with us while we get a little giddy and a lot floral. In this episode of True Crimes Against Wine we test a rosy Scottish gin called Secret Garden, riff on three garden-ready cocktails (a Rose Garden Spritz, a Strawberry Smash, and a Lavender-Lemon Stroll), and wander straight into the moody, magical world of Frances Hodgson Burnett's The Secret Garden. We talk sparkling cava vs prosecco, muddled berries, honey-lavender syrup, and why mint on the rim is a total game-changer, then break down why this hundred-year-old story still makes our hearts ache — the visuals, the soundtrack, the gothic elements, and yes, the complicated colonial moments that deserve honest conversation. Bring a glass, bring a friend, and get ready for springtime vibes, serious giggles, and a few tender asides about loss, literature, and why a secret garden is the best kind of therapy.

 

Sidebar Ep. 135: Paranormal Activity

SpOoOoky episode; listen if you dare! 👻👻👻

CASE 0514: Shaken, Not Stirred

DEFENDANT: Agent 007, Commander James Bond

EVIDENCE: Martinis

SCENE OF THE CRIME: Our Secret Lair

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Hey friend — grab a glass and settle in. In this episode we put the martini itself on trial: from the citrus-bright Vesper to a garden-fresh basil-cucumber twist, plus a yuzu-matcha surprise that doubles as our truth serum. We sip, argue, and nerd out about James Bond — the actors, the gadgets, the infamous "shaken, not stirred" debate, and the songs that make you feel like walking into a slow-motion title card.

 

Expect cozy banter, a few too many martinis, pop-culture tidbits, and lots of affectionate teasing (and yes, some of that classic Bond misogyny and other problematic bits get called out). Whether you love Shirley Bassey, are Team Vesper, or just here for the gossip about which Bond almost died/was recast/played by a model who conned his way into a role — we’ve got you.

 

We keep it casual — like a long conversation with a friend who brought cocktails and way too many fun facts. If you’ve got martini riffs, Bond takes, or favorite theme songs, slide into our inbox — and cheers: 007 out.

People's Court Ep. 05: Am I the Gynecologist?

 Hi, welcome to another episode of True Crimes. Against wine. We're doing a people\u2019s court today. The story: two 26-year-olds, six years together. Early on, she was diagnosed with vaginismus — a medical condition that made penetration impossible despite physiotherapy and dilators. For years, they tried oral and manual sex, but over time his desire and emotional connection faded. They fought about whose "fault" it was, he sought therapy, and they tried to end things gradually, but it ended more abruptly after a heated argument. Now she's telling friends he put her in an impossible situation; he's left wondering if he was unreasonable. This episode explores intimacy, medical issues, trauma, guilt, and how young couples navigate big, painful challenges. Join us as we unpack the situation with empathy and honest questions.  

CASE 0513: How Many Heights Could a Wuthering Heights Wuther If a Wuthering Heights Could Wuther Heights?

DEFENDANT: Emily Brontë

EVIDENCE: Goldschmidt Cabernet Sauvignon "Katherine" 2023

SCENE OF THE CRIME: The wild moors of Alexander Valley, Sonoma, CA

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Hey — settle in with a bowl of soup and a good glass, because this episode is equal parts wine tasting and literary sleuthing. We pop a bottle of Goldschmidt’s “Catherine” from Stonemason Hill in Alexander Valley (Sonoma), sniff out garnet color, black cherry and red‑plum fruit, a blueberry peak of ripeness, and a lovely stone‑like minerality with velvety tannins. It’s approachable, not pretentious, and sits in that sweet spot around $40 — perfect to bring to dinner or enjoy on a stormy night with friends (and a dog wedged between you).

Then we tumble headfirst into Wuthering Heights: Emily Brontë’s 1847 Gothic whirlwind of obsession, class friction, and moor‑bound drama. We talk about Emily’s short, wild life, the Brontë family dynamics, the book’s thorny questions (are Catherine and Heathcliff half‑siblings? are they in love or simply consumed by each other?), and why the novel is more morally complicated than the romantic myth that often gets pasted onto it.

Finally, we air our grievances with Emerald Fennell’s new film: gorgeous visuals, striking costumes, and some undeniably hot scenes — but also some big misses. Miscasting, whitewashing a character whose outsider status is crucial to the story, and a sleight-of-hand that ends up glamorizing an abusive, toxic relationship left us frustrated. If you love Wuthering Heights, don’t be fooled: this adaptation is a visually lush reinterpretation, not a faithful or thoughtful translation of the novel’s core themes.

Short version: drink the Catherine (it’s delightful), read the book (it’s messy, brilliant, and not for the faint‑hearted), and watch the movie cautiously — especially if you’re handing it to younger viewers who might mistake obsessive cruelty for tragic romance.